The Gospel of Rupture and Repair: Attaching to God amid the Disruptions

CYD HOLSCLAW & GEOFF HOLSCLAW

How do we respond when only 30% of the time are we in sync with others — even those closest to us? Most of the time our relationships are ruptured. As developmental psychologist Ed Tronick discovered, this means that “repair is the crux of human interactions.” Working from a neuroscience-informed view of spiritual formation, this workshop looks at the processes of rupture and repair by first exploring the two major maladaptive strategies (dismissive and distracted) for managing relational ruptures. These strategies either focus on maintaining agency and independence during ruptures (dismissive), or prioritizing relational proximity over problem-solving (distracted). We will then examine how dismissive and distracted strategies affect our ability to love God and love others, and end by showing how we can grow into a more integrated and secure strategy of relational repair, modeled on the temptations of Jesus.